Work Hard For the Money
Most people who work for a living know their job performance is highly important. Reviews occur at varying intervals throughout the year, often culminating with an annual review. These reviews compare you to company benchmarks.
The apparent significance is the review helps you track your progress. To the extent aspects of your performance are public, they signal your relative worth to fellow employees and employers alike. Slip-ups in your work can mean disciplinary action, demotions or pay cuts, and worse, termination.
Andrew Cotter is a sports commentator for BBC. He will conduct his annual review of his dogs just as any manager does with their employees. Today his Labradors Olive and Mabel are on the chopping block. Petspaw has the play-by-play on what goes down.
Step Into The Office, Please
Andrew waits expectantly for his Zoom conference to begin. Olive, his black lab, uses her snout to turn on her camera. Mabel, his beige lab, is a bit slow to the party but gets past her slight technical delay.
In Andrew’s opening statement, he tells the dogs their jobs are secure. He references the boss, who indicates the two are immune to furlough on account of their loyalty. After all, the entire company knows the strength of these dogs’ allegiance.
As Andrew continues, he catches Mabel looking away from the camera. He scolds her, citing her lack of attention as an area of her work in need of improvement. Adding insult to injury, he insinuates a questionable romance between her and Kevin the Doberman from the accounts department.
Mabel is clearly off to a ‘ruff’ start with her review, and her luck is on the downside. Moments later, her camera cuts out. She returns and interrupts Andrew mid-sentence to address an itch.
This irritation prompts Andrew to ask her to turn off her camera. Things are not looking up for Mabel.
The Numbers
A breakdown of the two’s performance by the numbers reveals significant opportunities for improvement.
What’s the first strike? Both couches are in ruin. There are a total of 913 squirrel chases and zero catches.
Andrew continues until Mabel interrupts him yet again. This time, she’s got her toys out! Andrew mutes her.
Andrew praises Olive for her behavior. Better yet, it looks like Olive will receive a bonus this year. The higher-ups say she’s a good dog.
Mable awaits her turn, but by now, her energy starts to wane. Andrew catches her dozing off, and she escapes any further lashing by leaving the meeting.
Mabel’s disinterest disappoints Andrew, and he threatens to sack her.
We hope to see Mabel on the up and up the next time around. Maybe she can follow Olive’s example. On the bright side, both will retain their positions as valued pets.
There is no harm to either dog in conducting this broadcast.
Watch the hilarious video below!
Video credits to Andrew Cotter via Youtube
Sources: